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“Fuck the alligators!”

July 6, 2015

Had Tommie Woodward been a more prudent man, he would have heeded the marina employee’s warning about alligators in that Orange County bayou. Instead, he will be forever remembered for his last words, spoken just before jumping into those waters, to be mortally munched by one of said alligators.

Not to be outdone by Texas, Maine features Devon Staples, who decided to launch a rocket to celebrate Independence day, from a mortar he sat on top of his head. I suspect that head had never studied physics, else Devon’s last words might have been, “fuck the third law!”

The Bastrop wackos worried that the military exercise Jade Helm 15 is cover for the federal government to invade Texas again should worry about more realistic threats. Like alligators.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. July 6, 2015 12:15 pm

    LOLOLOLOL

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